Why is my husband so defiant?

My husband seemed like the perfect man. I never suspected him of any wrong doing. I always thought he was honest and faithful. And I thought he loved me a lot. I found out about him having cheated on me at least 6 or 7 times about 6 months ago it all came to light. I have tried to be forgiving. However......ever since I found out and got upset and angry and mad at him he turns around and is mad at me. He acts like I was the one who did wrong. He acts like he HATES me now. Like really despises me. He is also defiant. I tell him I don't want him going out by himself anymore and we should find a way to go out together because I want to go out every now and then and party myself...but with him. The more I say we should do things together he gets mad and says "All the guys go drinking and go to strip clubs after work so I am going to start going from now on." Um I think he has been doing whatever behind my back to begin with and now he seems so desparate to do this stuff. He wants to go out with his friends and I asked him what that meant. To him it means going to a club or bar and talking to chicks, dancing with chicks, and getting some numbers. I told him no I don't think that is appropriate for you because you are married. DUH! And he gets madder. So since that fight he hasn't said I love you once for a whole week now. He hasn't hugged or kissed me. Also our sex life sucks. The more I want to have sex he tells me I have to earn it. I want to know exaclty how one earns sex. You'd think that after all that cheating he would be grateful I am willing to have sex with him ever again. His angry and seeming hate towards me really hurts because I can't think of what I have ever done to deserve it besides being a trusting, foolish, stupid, loving wife.