How do I deal with defiant children?

You need to relax.. Fine you and your family use chopsticks. these boys are teens and at that age it is very difficult to learn something. Let them use a fork. If your going to make them eat all their food - better let them serve themselves and if they don't want a certain dish then don't make them. Take them aside and tell them they need to be respectful (you can think of consequences) please relax on the chopstick thing.