How do I deal with my defiant 11 year old? I can't take it anymore.?

I'm a single mom (never married) and trying to raise my daughter the best I can. Ever since she's young, she's been very stubborn. It's to the point now that we fight and argue every day. We yell and sometimes I end up hurting her in the process. I feel like a failure, to be honest. I've been seeing a psychologist about it and he was suggesting that I don't engage in arguments and give her consequences. She has at least 3 consequences going right now and she just won't learn. Should I try anger management classes for her or what? I'm at the end of my rope. I'm also the caregiver for both my parents (they're both living independently, but I'm there for them every day). Help! I feel as though my daughter doesn't respect or appreciate me.