Always mad and crabby. I fly off the handle frequently......?

Im always crabby, my 4 yr old who's very defiant pushes me daily, my husband too. I have no patients, especially for stupid people and people who act dumb and do dumb things. I have a temper also. What can i do to help these problems. I'd like to be one of those people who dont let things bother them, but everything bothers me! Is there anything i can take like herbs or something i can buy at the store? Just would like some ideas and opinions please.